1. |
Straddling the Line
03:00
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I’m straddling the line
Half raw, half burned to ashes
Hope I get it right this time
I’m refining all of my theories of why you can’t depend on me
I’ll fuck up something else along the way
It’s a never ending science fair
All are welcome, stop and stare
This project here is called “Don’t Drink, Now Pray”
And you’re talking, talking straight through me while I’m diligently nitpicking
Changes in my mood
Reverse engineering
I could look down my nose at this cheap coffee
Or pretend to notice subtleties
Truth be told, take what I can to get high
It seems to me that steeper goals correlate to deeper holes
More complicated situations to rectify
It seems I have no say in this
So I’ll keep on beating dead horses
If we can’t come to grips with this
Then we’ll keep on beating dead horses
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2. |
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Write me off for feeling gratitude.
Write me off. I won’t intrude
Open wound, just let it fester.
Open mouth, cease and sequester
If you ever decide I’m worth your time,
I’m always down the street
I can’t comprehend what you’ve been through, but you don’t know where I’ve been.
Walking away is just giving up, and it’s last call for recompense.
Write me off for needing company.
Write me off because it’s easy.
Open heart, thrown in the dumpster.
You can try, but you can’t trust her.
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3. |
Sleep
03:07
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What’s on your mind?
Channeled thoughts relay
It’s getting so damn late
I can see it in your face
Wish I was in tune with the moon like you
The sun and I can’t wait to talk
And the stars get pieces of me too
And you sleep sleep sleep for both of us
Try to pry open your eyes
A moment capsized
I’d never dream of shaking you awake
But I never dream at all
I’ll just keep quiet for your sake
You’re gonna break all of my bones someday
With exhilarated rage
Or you’ll exit the stage
It ain’t October no more, my dear
I’ll be counting down the days
And welcome fall leaves next year
Exaggeration gets the best of me
But I can’t exaggerate the stars
Mercury, Mars, the galaxy
They’re calling us
They’re calling us tonight
They asked for numbers
And I couldn’t help but give them yours and mine
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4. |
Evergreen Palms
02:30
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Unfolded maps and dreams of one-way tickets drew the borders of me and you.
Through a federation crumbling, I sought unadultered sovereignty.
So I killed one dream to conquer the next one.
I killed one dream to conquer the next one.
I needed conquest. You needed Los Angeles.
I hope the evergreen palms are treating you right,
And the 405 isn’t wasting away your life.
Suffering and sacrifice - See it all but can’t sleep at night
I’m leaving you in the shadow of the Shrine
Sacrifice and suffering - See it all. Lose everything.
For leaving you in the shadow of the Shrine
Declarations permeate these pages of expeditions seeking scattered truths.
For treaties with the great unknown, the annexation of a whole.
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5. |
Waves
02:43
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So now you’re telling me I’ve gotta do this on my own
You’re taking off to bleach your hands
Tell me you’re kidding please
You’re not much of a prankster
Not one to scoff
Well I’ll be damned
What happened to forever yours?
Seems you’re just forever sore
You lost all faith in me
Moved out to Hawaii
Hope those waves remind you of my ups and downs
What’s this?
You’re calling me
You need a friend and miss the way we used to laugh
Well I’m out of jokes
Cuz you took all of me
Spread my ashes here and there along your path since we last spoke
I’ve got to say I admire you
I think I’ll say that you’re a liar too
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6. |
Résumé
03:36
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Scrape my knuckles against carpeted walls
Swear I’m all tied up when anyone calls
But I haven’t got shit to do
Except stare at pages, drive in circles, drain accounts all day, and think of you
All I need’s a foot in the door
Seductive lies and foolish pride
You keep on wanting more
Somebody take me in
Locking desperate eyes with the factory foreman
At least for now I won’t let you down
For at the moment hand is steady
Mind is sound
Please list your skills
Here’s number one
Making a fool of myself and everyone
Look at me
Look what I can do
Talk myself up til my face turns blue
You can count on me
I won’t steer you wrong
Til I get distracted or something better comes along
Shaky hands pull my own weight
Til blood and rotgut are forced to separate
So how’s my résumé?
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7. |
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Pass me the drill
So I can hit the itch that’s in my bones
I’ll try a different pill
Will it sort me out, or will it only get me stoned?
I’ve been getting sleep
And dreams that drag me off with you
Far away
Such an evil tease
I get drug back and never get to stay
Maybe all pleasure’s a relief
And there’s pressure building underneath
All my old remedies
They’ve lost efficacy
I guess I’ve lost some faith in you and me and chemistry
This is not a drill
A real bait and switch
I wasn’t supposed to be alone
I swallowed all the pills
I nearly made it out or I almost made it home
I just needed sleep
More I had of you, more I needed
On and on
I’m lying through my teeth
Every time I say I’m really glad you’re gone
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8. |
100%
02:32
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Chew me up and spit me out.
Like bad Chinese food on a Lazy Susan, it keeps on comin’ round.
Caught in my teeth, that awful taste
Of bile and failure, chewed up pills, and chances pissed away
One course never seems to satiate a world that loves you on your knees.
All signposts seem to say…
Sometimes your best just ain’t enough.
Gonna struggle til your heart explodes and never make the cut.
Now you’re damaged goods on a sinking ship, too stubborn to give up.
Whoa oh, you know your best just ain’t enough.
You forge that smile. Pick up your chin.
Your broken soul back in the saddle, ride straight against the wind.
Try not to think. Try not to feel.
Just try to make it through today. One day you never will.
Kill your woes the quickest way you know.
Resolve, repose, then back in line you go.
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9. |
Filters
02:54
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These eyes got filters I’ve been peeling back
So much red and blue that I’ve been seeing black
Tell me why can’t I keep from looking back?
Sentimental goo just seeping through the cracks
Don’t you slip
Let me slide right away
And get this loneliness underway
The temporary nature of it all is sinking in
And where I go, there I am
I keep walking
Taking steps, no pacing ‘round
Slow and steady, but my feet stay on the ground
We’ve been talking
Why you keeping me around?
Find some use for me
I’m just spent coffee grounds
Resilient
How many lives we got girl?
You’re brilliant
Kept my head in a whirl
My buzzing mind
Jumping from thought to thought
Catastrophize
Make my worst fears come to life
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10. |
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Kicked in the teeth, cut down at the knees.
Won’t ya gimme a drag before I leave
For the next disaster or another dream?
It’s better than it seems.
Cooperation and compromise never made it eye-to-eye.
With endless bad decisions, it’s more fun to just go blind.
Measure of accomplishments and meaningless success
Don’t hold a light to abandonment or willful recklessness.
Desert mouth and heavy lids, man, nothing doesn’t hurt.
Save for my soul and attitude and benchmark of self worth.
Queen-size mattress, pillow top, left tossing in my sleep.
Station bench will do just fine. Exhaustion be thy sheet.
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11. |
Unrealized
03:05
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I’m feeling nauseous, incongruent.
Despite velocity, I’m never moving.
Fight or flight, unable to flee.
And faking’s fooling everyone but me.
Keep telling yourself one day it’ll change.
But you can’t help feeling that it’s all in vain.
Maybe I’m lost. Maybe I always was.
If the stars don’t ever align, I’ll just become,
Unrealized, unrecognizable,
Ostracized, marginalized, and forgettable.
This comedy is killing me.
I’m laughing so hard I can barely breathe.
Behind this smile, it’s all fracturing.
The ship has sailed. It’s sailing without me.
Maybe I’ve lost. Maybe I always had.
Out of sync and on the brink of complete collapse.
Demoralized and unpersuadable
Unstabilized, just feeling fried and expendable.
Expendable.
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12. |
The Slow Boat to Siberia
06:13
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Back home every day feels just like Christman
Looking across the table towards sickened eyes
Veiled with shallow tolerance
Lacquered smiles meant to say that they accept you
Tainted with furrowed brows
Underscoring they don’t want you in the gene pool
Why don’t you say what you really mean?
Call me a socialist
Call me a commie
Call me a kike
Call me a threat to God and country
Add me to the blacklist
Picket my existence
Burn my effigy
But for the sake of all that’s holy
Don’t call me human
Wave your flags and sloganeer
Like it’s your savior’s fucking birthday
Preach your programmed fucking values
Til they’ve lost all sense of meaning
Fictionalize history
Fly the banner of theocracy
The Age of Reason’s dead
But fear’s alive
Like all good zealots, you’re gonna need a scape
And I think I know just who the target’s on
Locked and loaded
Armed to your gilded teeth
It’s like the son of god’s birthday
And I’m the enemy
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Came and Took It Fort Collins, Colorado
Came and Took It came and went.
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